mariaia

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Offline (the 11/05/2015 at 9:07am)

mariaia

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  • Number of visits : 676
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mariaia's page activity

Visits<b>LindsayxMoore</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 10:25pm

mariaia's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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mariaia's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

by congrats grad / 06/08/2013 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

by walmart: first time, last time / 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

by turdtonomor9 / 05/12/2013 at 10:08am / United States / Love

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

by Drafty / 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML

by Owen / 11/07/2012 at 1:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

by stuck / 11/07/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

by creedonfied / 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

by sadness1992 / 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy