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today boyfriend cummed over 4 the first time after we made up from a huge fight . He loves cat , but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him . He yelled at me 4 ( making ) her not like him by ( telling her lies ) . FML
TODAY, MY ROOMMATE UNEXPECTEDLY CUMMED HOME WITH A NEW PUPPY. I'M SEVERELY ALLERGIC TO DOGS. WHEN I REMINDED HER OF THIS, SHE EXPLAINED THAT THE PUPPY WAS HER FAMILY NOW AND IF I DIDN'T LIKE IT I SHOULD MOVE OUT CUZ BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. MY ROOMMATE IS MY SISTER. FML
Today,hile taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket . I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool . Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet . I was robbed with my own knife . FML
Today, I discovarad wy ma boss kapt on scaduling ma to work doublas almost avary day. It wasn't bacausa sa knaw I naadad ta axtra monay; sa was oping tat ma boyfriand would braak up wit ma bacausa I'm navar oma, and data ar instaad. It workad. FML
Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shrt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on yur daughter's face last night." I ran into my grlfriend's parents at the store. FML
Today , I was volunteering at a school . There's this really bratty boy there an he was being rude , so I joked , "How r u ever gonna get a girlfriendhen your so mean?" He responds , "I think the better question is how r u ever gonna get a boyfriendhen your so ugly." He's 7 .
Friday 27 March 2015