Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About mandyreid_ : SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY ALL DAY.
Names Mandy, what's yours?
I'm the kind of person you think gunna die before 20 because they fuck up so much.
I'm at Fanshaw college
I'ma be a nurse muthafuckas
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
Friday 19 December 2014