About manda_baby_rawr : I\'m Amanda, though I hate it so I go by Manda, simple enough. I tell it like it is. I really hate when people are posers, wannabes, use this as a dating site, or just all around annoying/creepy. I don\'t like many people, so if I insult you or rip on you in any way, don\'t take it personally. <3
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5577) - you deserved it (17385) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (2879)
On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5408) - you deserved it (15550)
On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (6876)
On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (4335)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (3236)
On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6699) - you deserved it (54617)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (7451)
On 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm - animals - by fufu_mutt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9841) - you deserved it (44497)
On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (6137)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14844) - you deserved it (4168)
On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9288) - you deserved it (18155)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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