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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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man_whore_92

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man_whore_92
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 August 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 763
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About man_whore_92 : im awesome

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man_whore_92's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (5019)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (10658) - you deserved it (30824)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

#4949959 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (1511)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by soaked (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (3332)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

#4928502 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (5517)

On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (40602)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

#4907075 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (44094) - you deserved it (3596)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Nofun (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

#4889725 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (9209)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (414)

I agree, your life sucks (52745) - you deserved it (12087)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

#4823053 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (39675) - you deserved it (4352)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (2269)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

#4819197 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (7292)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

#4809359 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (54334) - you deserved it (7027)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

#4806587 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (8736) - you deserved it (25693)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

#4789258 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (32814) - you deserved it (5006)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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