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malkavian_mad

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malkavian_mad

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 490
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About malkavian_mad : Nerd.

malkavian_mad's page activity

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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malkavian_mad's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (28467)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31841) - you deserved it (2432)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14920) - you deserved it (42961)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (5666) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43952) - you deserved it (2996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

#14593479
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (19340)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (3228)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8886) - you deserved it (46562)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
219 comments

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9547) - you deserved it (32271)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6109) - you deserved it (32553)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46066) - you deserved it (4926)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML

#2640814
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (4130)

On 06/05/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Timmay (man) - United States

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111604) - you deserved it (263769)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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