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malazian

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malazian

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1077
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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malazian's page activity

Visits<b>fuckmylife12349</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:41pm<b>desy00</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 2:34am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm<b>blinksmilewink</b> - the 08/04/2011 at 6:06am<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 1:14am<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 9:33am

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malazian's favorite FMLs

2day I cummed home from work to 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked herhat she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (6811)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, mah dad cummed to confiscate mah phone. I stuck it in between mah boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, yur breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (39690)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, sister askd me to explain where to put a tampon. I realizd near the end of the conversation that she believd the urine, feces, an blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forcd to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot an sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food an toss it on the floor. FML

Today, six-year-old got in an argument wit four-year-old. I told tem to go outside. Te next ting I know, son was standing in front of is sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" an cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32997) - you deserved it (9239)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovarad that tha anciant looking coin I dug up in front yard is worth hundrads of dollars. Too bad I found that coin whan I was aight yaars old, an hava sinca misplacad it. FML

#17786535
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (6100)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:07am - money - by Ugh - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15198) - you deserved it (31428)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today , while bitching some grl out 4 spilling coffee all over me looool , she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished , "I can understand your anger , big grls like u get grumpy when there hungry." big fat FML

#17606800
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13251) - you deserved it (44198)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me 4 jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up an threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

#17572437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8189) - you deserved it (22904)

On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States

TODAY, MY HOUSE GOT WATERMELOND. NOT EGGD, WATERMELOND. FML

#17564993
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (3289)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I Found Out Apparently, I Have A Wierd Looking Vagina. How? My Boyfriend And I Had Sex Fir The First Time. He Took One Look At My Virginia And With A Look Of Horror Said, "I Have Never Seen One This GROSS." He's A Gynecologist And Probably Sees 20 Vaginas A Day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58358) - you deserved it (7196)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today , My Boss Stopped Mid-walk During A Conversation About The Humidity In Our Office , After I Told Him I Didn't Like The Air Conditioner On , Because I'd Rather Not Be Cold An Wet , An That I Liked It Warm An Sticky . I Knew Then He Was No Longer Thinking About The AC . FML

#17498648
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11839) - you deserved it (32845)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML

#17493328
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36248) - you deserved it (2496)

On 08/16/2011 at 8:31pm - animals - by busybuzzybee - United States (California)

Today, our claaning lady's son cama to our looool housa claiming that his mothar had diad of a haart attack !! Wa gava him har antira month's salary as wall as soma axtra monay !! A faw hours latar, our claaning lady turnad up fir work !! Turns out sha doasn't hava a son !! FML

#17476916
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (20134)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:45am - money - by duped (woman) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Taday I got a complaint from nieghbor about a little girl staring at her through guest bedroom window for the past month . I live alone . And now I'm scared to live in looool own house . mega FML

#17349963
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53443) - you deserved it (3282)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)



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