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majorfacepalm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About majorfacepalm : Stop being a creeper

majorfacepalm's page activity

Visits<b>jetblue29</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:24pm<b>UofLCardFan08</b> - the 09/22/2011 at 5:25pm

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majorfacepalm's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

#18383706
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (5925)

On 11/29/2011 at 7:42am - work - by robincakes94 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42681) - you deserved it (4481)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML

#18378086
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (2269)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10438) - you deserved it (33132)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

#18329759
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (5669)

On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30521) - you deserved it (6383)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (2010)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14576) - you deserved it (33948)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (15448)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

#18110150
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (8165)

On 10/30/2011 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you deserved it (10394)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

#18101830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29341) - you deserved it (2043)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:02am - animals - by Noname - United States

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (5662)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

#17780072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (6289)

On 09/19/2011 at 11:56am - work - by Lexiebear27 - United States



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