Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

majones

Search for a member

majones

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 909
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About majones : This is my part-time job.

majones's page activity

Visits<b>zach205</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:40am<b>Allornone</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:26pm<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:39pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:08pm<b>romaique</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 7:18pm<b>swick25</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 6:24pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:27pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 2:37pm<b>xds121</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:29pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 11:04am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 8:01am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:50am<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:14am<b>DaRaffers</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 6:16pm<b>tsent8</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 6:44pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 10:45am<b>sassierose0504</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 12:37am<b>jamichawik</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 6:25pm

majones's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

majones's favorite FMLs

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6413) - you deserved it (32033)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (5928)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (7098)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (7445)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (32935)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108357) - you deserved it (12706)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: