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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2478
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mahree8mellos's page activity

Visits<b>Tviruszombie</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:43pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:39am<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 4:25am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 11:33pm

mahree8mellos's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mahree8mellos's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2009 at 6:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

by umbrella / 07/24/2009 at 7:39am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

by jadakorn / 07/11/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm / Iraq (Arbil) / Intimacy

Today, it was the premiere of a huge play I've worked on for months. The latest week we've practised a lot, resulting in little sleep. In one of the scenes I'm just lying there pretending to be asleep. Guess who actually fell asleep? FML

by lol123 / 07/10/2009 at 6:09am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

by Fattie / 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Intimacy

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

by TingBarter / 07/09/2009 at 11:00am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 8:11am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

by R_U_CEREAL / 07/04/2009 at 4:58am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2009 at 12:51am / United States (Indiana) / Love