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Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9380) - you totally deserved it (1409)
On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you totally deserved it (9368)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11119) - you totally deserved it (2195)
On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a birthday party and got my face rubbed in with a cake. When I came out of the restroom having washed my face I noticed one of the girls going in. Just to be nice I asked, "They put cake on your face too, did they?" She said no, that was just her make-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7532) - you totally deserved it (18953)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by nickname (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51858) - you totally deserved it (2269)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you totally deserved it (1327)
On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4044) - you totally deserved it (16191)
On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27978) - you totally deserved it (2421)
On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14434) - you totally deserved it (17650)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5231) - you totally deserved it (24539)
On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my brother thought it would be a cute prank for me to wake up as a bleach blonde. He poured cleaning bleach on my hair while I was sleeping. Little did he know I would wake up to my hair falling out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32516) - you totally deserved it (861)
On 08/20/2009 at 11:51pm - misc - by wildly_hot_mess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you totally deserved it (1408)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37580) - you totally deserved it (5977)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML
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On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)
Today, my grandma went to get my twin sister and I a birthday gift. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute, cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
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On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
