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Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (76401)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (76401)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7526) - you deserved it (44520)
On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7526) - you deserved it (44520)
On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42504) - you deserved it (16277)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40021) - you deserved it (1923)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (60132) - you deserved it (6122)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards, I needed to change clothes but the bathrooms were closed. I went off into the woods to change. As soon as I was naked, I heard hooves and sixteen people on horseback rode by. I'd stripped by a horse trail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (12717)
On 05/16/2009 at 8:11am - animals - by FishStampede - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67140) - you deserved it (22278)
On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (89058)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12788) - you deserved it (89058)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (30977)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (30977)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (4256)
On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35641) - you deserved it (6835)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Monday 20 May 2013
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