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magentaballoon15

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magentaballoon15
  • Town/Country : U.S.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 February 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 830
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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magentaballoon15's favorite FMLs

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16795) - you deserved it (1201)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12473) - you deserved it (3221)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (3219)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

#19330413
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (1424)

On 03/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by badadvise (man) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML

#19326389
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (1436)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm - kids - by futuremum (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (3089)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16784) - you deserved it (3558)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (1144)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

#19305643
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (32664)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (4297)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

#19277377
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9846) - you deserved it (18542)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
585 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (38116)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12769) - you deserved it (4848)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

#18888313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/23/2012 at 4:56am - work - by FuturePolice (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML

#18886629
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20136) - you deserved it (1621)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by michellenKG (woman) - United States (California)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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Monday 20 May 2013

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