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maemismile

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maemismile

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maemismilemaemismile
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2339
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

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maemismile's page activity

Visits<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 12:13am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:10pm<b>thehouseisonfire</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:46pm<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:32pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:19am<b>LizzieC22</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:06am<b>louisdenis805</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>AlexEsc11</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:33pm<b>PaulCooper</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:39pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:27pm<b>ijulez</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:25pm<b>black_day</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:59pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:48am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:01am<b>swharley</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:54am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:30am<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:46am<b>terryaly</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:37am

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maemismile's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43636) - you deserved it (4986)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49100) - you deserved it (13017)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

#21118642
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37668) - you deserved it (10314)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65279) - you deserved it (32678)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (18422)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33594) - you deserved it (4319)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41103) - you deserved it (4971)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43367) - you deserved it (9397)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (8175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (12895)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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