Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maemismile

Search for a member

maemismile

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1382
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maemismile's page activity

Visits<b>black_day</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:59pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:48am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:01am<b>swharley</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:54am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:30am<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:46am<b>terryaly</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:37am<b>8oded8</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:19pm<b>kris_stewart</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:55pm<b>TunefulMovie</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 8:01am<b>pooldude</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 5:31am<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:41am<b>ironichalibut</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:33am<b>ShadowSneaker360</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:23pm<b>TheElBurrrito</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:11pm<b>Moneymanfin</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 2:36pm<b>CaptNomNom</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 11:14am<b>KitzaKid69</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:42am

maemismile's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of maemismile's badges

maemismile's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57601) - you deserved it (6156)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (19050)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (21751)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36849) - you deserved it (6461) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43898) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (2540)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42129) - you deserved it (2891)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

#20993307
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41218) - you deserved it (5941)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49548) - you deserved it (6532)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53368) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44288) - you deserved it (3396)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47062) - you deserved it (7811)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

#20978895
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (14704)

On 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (46928)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: