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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16885) - you deserved it (1649)
On 09/03/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (4662)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (1822)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:02am - love - by yonanon - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (1103)
On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (1762)
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19994) - you deserved it (4783)
On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18775) - you deserved it (3790)
On 08/28/2012 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11359) - you deserved it (25809)
On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4782) - you deserved it (14783)
On 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by p (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14536) - you deserved it (1474)
On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (2566)
On 08/28/2012 at 10:16am - love - by tutusaurus - United States (California)
Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (6717)
On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (4102)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13286) - you deserved it (5660)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm - misc - by arh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (1714) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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