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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (42356)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (2425)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11635) - you deserved it (17520)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13857) - you deserved it (3028)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12288) - you deserved it (1316)
On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (3090)
On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (4033)
On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28328) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16959) - you deserved it (4628)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13450) - you deserved it (21303)
On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19714) - you deserved it (2037)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48093) - you deserved it (1978)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35396) - you deserved it (4574)
On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (1040)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25am - health - by Missusluv313 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (3169)
On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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