Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maemismile

Online | Search for a member

maemismile

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1512
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maemismile's page activity

Visits<b>aron1991</b> - yesterday at 3:19am<b>LizzieC22</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:06am<b>louisdenis805</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:23pm<b>AlexEsc11</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:33pm<b>PaulCooper</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:39pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:27pm<b>ijulez</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:25pm<b>black_day</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:59pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:48am<b>cohenb93</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:01am<b>swharley</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:54am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:30am<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:46am<b>terryaly</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:37am<b>8oded8</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:19pm<b>kris_stewart</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:55pm<b>TunefulMovie</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 8:01am

maemismile's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of maemismile's badges

maemismile's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41031) - you deserved it (15310)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

#21138395
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49111) - you deserved it (7522)

On 05/13/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51119) - you deserved it (5027)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51912) - you deserved it (4834)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58820) - you deserved it (13106)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (8192)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (32306)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43501) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48547) - you deserved it (12919)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

#21118642
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37537) - you deserved it (10280)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65058) - you deserved it (32534)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (17953)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (4268)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: