Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maemismile

Offline (55 minutes ago) | Search for a member

maemismile

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3652
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maemismile's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 6:46pm<b>blufishie</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:34pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:13pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:15am<b>keely617</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:58pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:09pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:42am<b>boostedc</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:43am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:29am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:41am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Gauzy21</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:38pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:44am<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 12:13am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:10pm<b>thehouseisonfire</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:46pm<b>RapFan21</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:32pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:19am

Liked!<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:12pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:43am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:27am

maemismile's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of maemismile's badges

maemismile's favorite FMLs

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (1664)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (6819)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

#21358578
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13556) - you deserved it (56663)

On 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14490) - you deserved it (33535)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (2037)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35194) - you deserved it (2287)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34915) - you deserved it (4931)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (8984)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34545) - you deserved it (3107)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

#21351174
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40180) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by depressedskatergirl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you deserved it (35970)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (14157)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (7084)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36535) - you deserved it (4285)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: