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madman300

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madman300

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  • Number of visits : 248
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About madman300 : A person wasting time on this site... who else?

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madman300's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (8726)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML

#20436289
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8310) - you deserved it (46318)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML

#20436199
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33984) - you deserved it (3752)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:35pm - animals - by Enyo - Reserved

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35649) - you deserved it (6153)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50986) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44379) - you deserved it (5026)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40178) - you deserved it (13523)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44155) - you deserved it (3144)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31349) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36182) - you deserved it (3224)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (20693)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

#20434472
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37738) - you deserved it (3567)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States



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