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maddycakes19

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maddycakes19
  • Town/Country : dallas, united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 651
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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maddycakes19's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (4295)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12886) - you deserved it (39693)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55141) - you deserved it (3363)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

#1250127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (14010)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

#818669
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58867) - you deserved it (8041)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164168) - you deserved it (32119)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48824) - you deserved it (300077)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (8377)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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