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madasahatter

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madasahatter
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17762
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56888) - you deserved it (2586)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13567) - you deserved it (39322)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20159) - you deserved it (51278)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML

#4014904
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (12350)

On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39567) - you deserved it (5139)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

#3988589
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (4753)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (4753)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

#3971516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47518) - you deserved it (5210)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML

#3958624
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59920) - you deserved it (2164)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:36pm - health - by retainer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML

#3958624
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59920) - you deserved it (2164)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:36pm - health - by retainer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71646) - you deserved it (5682)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

#3939096
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (4540)

On 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

#3924296
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44004) - you deserved it (2901)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:49am - misc - by nottananny (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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