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madasahatter

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madasahatter
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 17754
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (9387)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (1529)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

#3525
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (4599)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (2361)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5917) - you deserved it (57125)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

#2645
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21121) - you deserved it (1514)

On 01/26/2009 at 10:51am - love - by saywhat - United States (Indiana)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51487) - you deserved it (6996)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41586) - you deserved it (7812)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266395) - you deserved it (23305)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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