About madamspammalot : If I'm online I probably should be working...
madamspammalot's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
madamspammalot's favorite FMLs
by queenmeme / 10/08/2014 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Animals
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
by NRFTW / 12/17/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm / Luxembourg / Work
by knee pain / 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm / United States / Health
by jessierules93 / 12/07/2013 at 12:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals
Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 12:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…