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Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5497) - you totally deserved it (25914)
On 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by smarty (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11021) - you totally deserved it (25138)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you totally deserved it (2462)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you totally deserved it (735)
On 10/15/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by rejectedson (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you totally deserved it (1457)
On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I noticed a dent in the passenger door of my car. At first I blamed it on the door of another car. Then I remembered that my last passenger hadn't shut the door all the way, and I insisted on "showing him how it's done" by hip-checking the door shut. The dent perfectly fits my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2273) - you totally deserved it (16922)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by onei8785 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14976) - you totally deserved it (648)
On 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by gooddriver (woman) - United States
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3402) - you totally deserved it (50312)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at soccer camp and was hit in the face with a ball. I walked to the nurse and asked for a napkin or tissues to help stop the bleeding. The only thing she could come up with? A tampon. I spent 20 minutes with a tampon shoved up my nostril in front of my laughing teammates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14498) - you totally deserved it (1626)
On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23652) - you totally deserved it (630)
On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you totally deserved it (2613)
On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22568) - you totally deserved it (1473)
On 10/12/2009 at 10:03am - love - by Jennagirl (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you totally deserved it (5704)
On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you totally deserved it (30006)
On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by bubbles (woman) - United States
Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19545) - you totally deserved it (6148)
On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)
