madame_malfoy

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Offline (the 09/09/2015 at 7:47am)

madame_malfoy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15543
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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madame_malfoy's page activity

Visits<b>splitms</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 8:59pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:12pm<b>emmaedwards25</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:23pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 3:07pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:07am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 12:13pm<b>s1sonoma</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 1:23am<b>username666</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:52pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 11:38pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 9:39pm<b>bambiNo</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 6:55pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 1:57pm<b>green_199</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 8:51am<b>josephenomenon</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 2:57pm<b>f__kY_urLif__</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 8:45am<b>Flying_Pink_Lulz</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 3:35am<b>thinkpink</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 12:38am

madame_malfoy's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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madame_malfoy's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML

by smarty / 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML

by Halloweenie / 10/16/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

by rejectedson / 10/15/2009 at 7:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

by rejectedson / 10/15/2009 at 7:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

by artiemilano / 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

by gooddriver / 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

by PanFace / 10/13/2009 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

by thafinest / 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

by Jennagirl / 10/12/2009 at 10:03am / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

by worst / 10/12/2009 at 4:23am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

by bubbles / 10/12/2009 at 1:36am / United States / Animals