Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

machiko

Search for a member

machiko

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22137
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.

machiko's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 12 hours ago<b>munuxi</b> - yesterday at 1:47pm<b>DragonDude</b> - yesterday at 6:33am<b>RoseBlack123</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:56am<b>Supergirl1988</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:26am<b>JayBunny</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:11am<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:52am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:06pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:20pm<b>claudia19801811</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:18am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:19pm<b>acpieka</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:41pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:14am<b>Paranaes</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:33am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:55pm<b>Jamesps</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:53am<b>miianah1</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:23am<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:02pm

machiko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machiko's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

#11968011
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (4126)

On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

#11383456
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35998) - you deserved it (4440)

On 06/22/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that even after a really bad break up and the fact that I left him for someone else, my parents offered my ex-boyfriend to join us on a one week family vacation. He agreed. FML

#11131141
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (11903)

On 06/11/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by justgreatgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML

#10994237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3441)

On 06/05/2010 at 7:49pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (52565)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10514) - you deserved it (36845)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

#10334392
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (14258)

On 05/04/2010 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Rejection (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48840) - you deserved it (9602)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

#9238749
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (3613)

On 03/20/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (8319)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (4084)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (19451)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22144) - you deserved it (9793)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32479) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: