machiko

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machiko

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26018
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.

machiko's page activity

Visits<b>angrykid11</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 9:36pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 10:56pm<b>eknock</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 2:20am<b>xXl_Exodus_lXx</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 5:21pm<b>DeMamp</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 4:20am<b>jaker4p17</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 7:04pm<b>Nonemustknow</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 2:40am<b>Oihana</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:02pm<b>L1MEY</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 2:08am<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 7:02am<b>Parkourlife20</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:01am<b>metricsystem1</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:16am<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 9:28pm<b>ilikedogs123123</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 10:09am<b>tikatica</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:41pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:07am<b>ananicosia</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:24am<b>SugarRush905</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:28am

Fucked!<b>54754N4</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 4:40pm<b>SugarRush905</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 9:28am<b>AtomOfEpic</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 1:19pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 2:43am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:30am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:45pm<b>JCX2</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:14pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:15am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:13am<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:59pm<b>mattv88</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 7:00am<b>jomar_19</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:34am<b>Bree06</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:31pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:20am<b>sherry_berryxoxo</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 9:27pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:37am

machiko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

by poolboy / 04/14/2009 at 4:51am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

by italy1986 / 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

by blaise / 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

by bodyelectric / 04/13/2009 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

by AJShow80 / 04/13/2009 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

by ruvru / 04/10/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 9:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

by vetapplez / 04/04/2009 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

by C0olgirl / 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

by Mark / 03/30/2009 at 3:06am / United States / Love

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML

by linren / 03/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy