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machiko

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machiko

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22163
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.

machiko's page activity

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machiko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86079) - you deserved it (8490)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (53031)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101363) - you deserved it (8752)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

#945188
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110086) - you deserved it (16334)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82504) - you deserved it (5224)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

#901241
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50698) - you deserved it (3579)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:13pm - love - by ruvru - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

#892613
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19199) - you deserved it (78178)

On 04/09/2009 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML

#797554
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56314) - you deserved it (12356)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

#796639
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97701) - you deserved it (7809)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15523) - you deserved it (198722)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

#737315
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53906) - you deserved it (4626)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19991) - you deserved it (68876)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78771) - you deserved it (162537)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML

#662382
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86366) - you deserved it (6884)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by linren (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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