Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

machiko

Search for a member

machiko

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24278
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.

machiko's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - yesterday at 6:20pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - yesterday at 4:45pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:28am<b>haiku575</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:11am<b>Aiden89</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 3:41pm<b>poiuipop</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:58am<b>molloy2</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:00am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:15am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:13am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:00pm<b>momo3p</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:57pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:31pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:17pm<b>SeedtheMasta</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:09pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:44pm<b>shiba10</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:49am<b>FreshDonuts</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:30pm<b>Jae7</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:23pm

Fucked!<b>Joshwarrior</b> - yesterday at 10:45pm<b>JCX2</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 11:14pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:15am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:13am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:17am<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:59pm<b>mattv88</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 7:00am<b>jomar_19</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:34am<b>Bree06</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:31pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:20am<b>sherry_berryxoxo</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 9:27pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:37am

machiko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79015) - you deserved it (4533)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62660) - you deserved it (4035)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

#2112917
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48200) - you deserved it (17046)

On 05/20/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

#1986164
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51798) - you deserved it (8492)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62334) - you deserved it (7369)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

#1717469
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53807) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

#1713391
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58741) - you deserved it (5741)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95618) - you deserved it (15202)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

#1375627
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51356) - you deserved it (14181)

On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63245) - you deserved it (4508)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

#1225856
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54764) - you deserved it (18952)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet. I had to sift through my own poo to get it back. FML

#1147441
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64223) - you deserved it (19204)

On 04/20/2009 at 6:05am - misc - by ohhelllllno (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62530) - you deserved it (7099)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65535) - you deserved it (6160)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: