Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

machiko

Search for a member

machiko

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23045
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.

machiko's page activity

Visits<b>broncosfan1996</b> - 17 hours ago<b>rjc490</b> - 19 hours ago<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:35am<b>CloudyFromSteam</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:21am<b>march1415</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:06am<b>yajyar</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheMan183</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:34am<b>cryingthought</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:16am<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:07am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:06am<b>kidinkbaby</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:28am<b>codytallica</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 3:27pm<b>randumbnesss</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Circles</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 3:12am<b>InDoctorWeTrust</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:05am<b>EvoLove</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:43am

Liked!<b>sherry_berryxoxo</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 9:27pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:37am

machiko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73879) - you deserved it (4127)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59933) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

#2112917
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45497) - you deserved it (16172)

On 05/20/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML

#1986164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48322) - you deserved it (8070)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58503) - you deserved it (6947)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

#1717469
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49729) - you deserved it (4166)

On 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

#1713391
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54627) - you deserved it (5371)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89832) - you deserved it (14049)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

#1375627
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48350) - you deserved it (13523)

On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58824) - you deserved it (4180)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

#1225856
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52287) - you deserved it (18247)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet. I had to sift through my own poo to get it back. FML

#1147441
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59936) - you deserved it (18004)

On 04/20/2009 at 6:05am - misc - by ohhelllllno (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59634) - you deserved it (6814)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60905) - you deserved it (5736)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: