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About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Taday I putted my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, putted some sensual music on, an looool got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriendhen he cummed home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He cummed home an didn't come in my room fir 20 minutes because of a football game. FML
Today, I found out y my husband had wantd to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informd me that he wasn't always Ben, but usd to be Brenda. His 'penis doesn't work and he had wantd to know I "truly lovd him" before he had let me know. fat FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said ( I can feel yur heartbeat on my dick. ) FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with mah mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in mah mouth. FML
Today, I was helping mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me an says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML
Today, I was walking wit my usband, olding ands, wen a man wit a rainbow srt on came up to us!! He said, ( I'm so glad tat gay men can go out in public witout being embarassed nowdays! ) He patted me on te back and walked away!! I'm a woman!! FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him an noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with an he was in the bathroom. mega FML
Today, I was planning on asking out a grl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the grl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejectd via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML
Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter . After I cleaned up her spill an remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked drectly past the tip jar, an left the store . FML
yesterday I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML
Friday 27 March 2015