Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

machiko

Search for a member

machiko

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 22751
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.

machiko's page activity

Visits<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:37pm<b>newuser654</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:12am<b>sockoiid</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 12:54am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:43pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 8:26pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 5:48pm<b>umakemesic</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 7:11am<b>PengyFML</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:29pm<b>tia587us</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:42am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 5:20pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:44am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:47pm<b>corey628</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:03am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:06pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:44pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:22am<b>kimCandycotton</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:56pm

Liked!<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:37am

machiko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

#6786909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38090) - you deserved it (2591)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (7004)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

#6752832
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by militarywife2b - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31929) - you deserved it (2655)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15513) - you deserved it (21305)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

#6677615
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (2333)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:31am - love - by im_not_me (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37058) - you deserved it (4626)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

#6544765
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (12138)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:00am - love - by toastedguy (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59867) - you deserved it (6398)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8592) - you deserved it (43161)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (2337)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I had a date in my dreams. It was a pity date, with someone who is already taken. I can't even get a real date in my dreams. FML

#6433676
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (3529)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:49am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: