Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

machiko

Search for a member

machiko

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21955
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiko : I believe in nothing. Not the end and not the start.

machiko's page activity

Visits<b>drunk_in_love</b> - yesterday at 3:02pm<b>thejzabs</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:02pm<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:02am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:41am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:56am<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:59pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:54am<b>Relf</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Noxialis</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:43am<b>masonthemidget</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:46pm<b>King_Nero</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:58pm<b>elvis103</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:32pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:53am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:39am<b>XxCatalyst</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:02am<b>Sbear72</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:43pm<b>ziko928</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:33pm<b>narwhal101112</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:19pm

machiko's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (2550)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

#6786909
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37314) - you deserved it (2535)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (6877)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

#6752832
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (1707)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by militarywife2b - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31687) - you deserved it (2632)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (21197)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML

#6677615
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (2271)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:31am - love - by im_not_me (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (4614)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

#6544765
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31791) - you deserved it (11939)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:00am - love - by toastedguy (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59649) - you deserved it (6380)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8528) - you deserved it (43012)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (2318)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I had a date in my dreams. It was a pity date, with someone who is already taken. I can't even get a real date in my dreams. FML

#6433676
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (3428)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:49am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: