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machete

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machete

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1826
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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machete's page activity

Visits<b>georgiaswish</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 3:10pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 10:52pm<b>CatcherQueen</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 10:32am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:55pm<b>iheartjustinsane</b> - the 04/03/2010 at 10:55pm<b>Fuzzy_Mama_Llama</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 4:00pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 4:27pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 10/12/2009 at 5:18am<b>Spatch_</b> - the 09/24/2009 at 4:37am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:10pm<b>Nathaly_West</b> - the 09/12/2009 at 6:34am<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:47pm<b>k3rosene</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 7:38pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm

machete's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

machete's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (8024)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

#9095527
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (1938)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:19am - love - by kukadaman - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML

#9087167
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (7684)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (1762)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

#8965394
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:00am - love - by Maddy (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

#8905388
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (1983)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by leenibeani4 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8218) - you deserved it (34009)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

#8471153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6698) - you deserved it (36429)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:36am - animals - by rimjob - United States

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

#8129133
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm - kids - by kbeavv - United States (Maryland)

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

#7782568
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34030) - you deserved it (9012)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by kaitlynn - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46514) - you deserved it (2277)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (4743)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9228) - you deserved it (97621)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (3895)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)



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