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maalicious

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  • Number of visits : 457
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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maalicious's page activity

Visits<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 7:20am<b>Doortje</b> - the 01/14/2011 at 4:00am

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maalicious's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

#12300042
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (8300)

On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14343) - you deserved it (48873)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
820 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (295334)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
820 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (295334)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40462) - you deserved it (140261)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (140039)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (141227)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (51079)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (137422)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61900) - you deserved it (2691)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I sang my signature tune at a karaoke bar - What A Wonderful World - and I thought I sounded my best yet. After my performance, I went outside to get some air. Then, I got assaulted in the parking lot and ended up going to the hospital. What a wonderful world indeed. FML

#1245192
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51866) - you deserved it (4910)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by karaokestar (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33693) - you deserved it (123442)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

#30362
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12071) - you deserved it (34020)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by KWM (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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