m0nicam0nster

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m0nicam0nster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 45262
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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m0nicam0nster's page activity

Visits<b>Jroman4</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 9:40pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:54am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:54am<b>gandalfthegrey31</b> - the 05/23/2010 at 3:10pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:31pm<b>Opaltear</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 1:21am<b>philly1234</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 12:40pm<b>weekendisout</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 12:14pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 5:17pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 4:56pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 5:03pm<b>Bapes</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 11:38pm<b>thisissoweird</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 12:52pm<b>animaguskid</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 8:31pm<b>alwayzbored</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 3:13am<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:24am<b>Gretzkey20</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 6:51pm<b>assman266</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 8:25pm

m0nicam0nster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

m0nicam0nster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

by dizzlewizzle / 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

by nuberific / 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

by you would / 03/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

by EPICfml. / 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML

by xoothc08 / 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

by notsohappy / 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous