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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (45649)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43963) - you deserved it (2073)
On 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Lo_Bolian (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38629) - you deserved it (15556)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55459) - you deserved it (2484)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (20861)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46369) - you deserved it (2382)
On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36083) - you deserved it (13882)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7913) - you deserved it (67081)
On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79757) - you deserved it (12414)
On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58413) - you deserved it (5360)
On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48748) - you deserved it (4017)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by wishbone - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML
I agree, your life sucks (51369) - you deserved it (11429)
On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45085) - you deserved it (14040)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (551015) - you deserved it (35398)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26451) - you deserved it (50011)
On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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