m0nicam0nster

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m0nicam0nster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 45311
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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m0nicam0nster's page activity

Visits<b>Jroman4</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 9:40pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:54am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:54am<b>gandalfthegrey31</b> - the 05/23/2010 at 3:10pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:31pm<b>Opaltear</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 1:21am<b>philly1234</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 12:40pm<b>weekendisout</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 12:14pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 5:17pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 4:56pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 5:03pm<b>Bapes</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 11:38pm<b>thisissoweird</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 12:52pm<b>animaguskid</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 8:31pm<b>alwayzbored</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 3:13am<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:24am<b>Gretzkey20</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 6:51pm<b>assman266</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 8:25pm

m0nicam0nster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

m0nicam0nster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

by PiZzA_FaCe / 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

by oops / 05/18/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

0

by / 12/31/1969 at 7:00pm /

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

by fingerfuckd / 04/29/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML

by frenchgirlll / 04/27/2009 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Love