Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

m0nicam0nster

Search for a member

m0nicam0nster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 44556
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

m0nicam0nster's page activity

Visits<b>gandalfthegrey31</b> - the 05/23/2010 at 3:10pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 2:31pm<b>Opaltear</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 1:21am<b>philly1234</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 12:40pm<b>weekendisout</b> - the 07/16/2009 at 12:14pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 5:17pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 4:56pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 5:03pm<b>Bapes</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 11:38pm<b>thisissoweird</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 12:52pm<b>animaguskid</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 8:31pm<b>alwayzbored</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 3:13am<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:24am<b>Gretzkey20</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 6:51pm<b>assman266</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 8:25pm<b>hebda</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 3:26am<b>wdaareg</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 12:12am<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 4:30pm

m0nicam0nster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

m0nicam0nster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46568) - you deserved it (4691)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59816) - you deserved it (13443)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

#2376689
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65649) - you deserved it (5779)

On 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

#2372451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51805) - you deserved it (3070)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40578) - you deserved it (140749)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51138) - you deserved it (18248)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

#2037920
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47644) - you deserved it (9748)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (141555)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58305) - you deserved it (6930)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (426267) - you deserved it (59706)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149035) - you deserved it (11859)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64232) - you deserved it (29142)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML

#1380025
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56077) - you deserved it (11440)

On 04/27/2009 at 12:43am - love - by frenchgirlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

#1368223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54581) - you deserved it (2626)

On 04/26/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chippuh (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: