Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lzmo

Offline (yesterday at 5:57pm) | Search for a member

lzmo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3438
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:24am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:30pm<b>ilysmfae</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:25am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Phishbonez</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:23am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:53am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:38pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Quick8686</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:59pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:30am

lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

yesterday I was at mah friend's house , when she commentd that her dog's fur kept getting tangld cuz of its length. I reachd over to tickle his tummy , felt a big tangld knot and agred that he needd a good grooming. Then I realizd what I'd grabbd wasn't fur. big fat FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (9521)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, mah boyfriend of three yeres told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, ( What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it ) and then laughed. FML

#20521204
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (6901)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, THE GUY WHO CONFESSED HIS LOVE 4 ME ALSO CONFESSED THAT IN HIS RAGE, HE ALMOST SHOT THE LAST GIRL WHO BROKE HIS HEART. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today, I went back home after seieng the doctor, I told mah boyfriend mah new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbd his phone an pretendd to take a call, then rushd out. FML

#20516690
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

My Son Asked Me If The Short Films I Write R Fir Little Kids Or Fir Adults. Since I Write Horror-filled Films, I Said It Was Fir Adults. He Went And Told His Teacher That I Made "adult Films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today , I was hanging out with the guy I really like!! I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt , so he put his finger through it!! I haven't shaved in weeks!! FML

#20513075
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (51675)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

I was at mah boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her 4 the frst time . I excusd myself to the restroom and as I walkd out of the room I hered her say, "You could do a lot better . She's fat." Then I hered mah boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46365) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage . Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis . She won't stop asking about the ( hotdog ) in the picture . FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage . Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis . She won't stop asking about the ( hotdog ) in the picture . FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in mah statistics class gave me a rose fir Valentine's Day because he rememberd they were mah favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters an told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assurd her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and muggd me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (4675)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE HE FOUND OUT MAH BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME DAY AS HIS, AN HE THINKS WE R TWINS WHO WERE SEPARATD AT BIRTH. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: