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lzmo

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lzmo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1822
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:53am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:38pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Quick8686</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:59pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:30am<b>michaeljc7</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:40pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:28pm<b>TheDeafDudeinCA</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:19pm<b>MattiiEng</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 6:04pm

lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

#20810418
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (3204)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

#20808571
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by LeaveTheGuyAlone (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41126) - you deserved it (5864)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55284) - you deserved it (4651)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55702) - you deserved it (3699)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50160) - you deserved it (3695)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50160) - you deserved it (3695)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (8986)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33732) - you deserved it (28726)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41384) - you deserved it (3935)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52841) - you deserved it (6682)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48624) - you deserved it (2237)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44397) - you deserved it (4970)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54718) - you deserved it (6847)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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