About lzmo : Msg me anytime :)
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (3626)
On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved
Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (24088)
On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (9558)
On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (2935)
On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (5323)
On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)
Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (21131)
On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52924) - you deserved it (3125)
On 06/08/2010 at 3:11am - work - by Myzyri (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (2324)
On 06/08/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by highschoolgrad (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (2905)
On 05/25/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by alyssac11 - United States (Michigan)
Today, the girl I have been dating for the past couple months broke it off with me. She said she's tired of waiting around for me and being ignored in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish my 2 degrees and work 2 jobs to pay for my school. How selfish of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (13413)
On 03/18/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Lonely (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (4549)
On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)
Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (3407)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (4931)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20734) - you deserved it (1725)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4237) - you deserved it (21150)
On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
