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lzmo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1362
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:38pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Quick8686</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:59pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:30am<b>michaeljc7</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:40pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:28pm<b>TheDeafDudeinCA</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:19pm<b>MattiiEng</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 6:04pm<b>miztigers53</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 12:27pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:38pm<b>boxbrandon11</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 12:58am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 6:32am

lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48424) - you deserved it (2225)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43892) - you deserved it (4922)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54515) - you deserved it (6825)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52929) - you deserved it (8596)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42979) - you deserved it (5198)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (5174)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (16917)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (2449)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (2515)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (44810)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44711) - you deserved it (5757)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (2424)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61298) - you deserved it (5372)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (10500)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (4319)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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