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lzmo

Offline (the 02/02/2016 at 4:48pm) | Search for a member

lzmo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5112
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:43am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:16am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:36pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:01pm<b>monkey8970920</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:44pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:24am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:30pm<b>ilysmfae</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:25am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Phishbonez</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:23am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:53am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm

Fucked!<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:44pm

lzmo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63048) - you deserved it (9261)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47943) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46165) - you deserved it (3099)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41394) - you deserved it (7249)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47385) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50719) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51179) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48209) - you deserved it (3598)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (2723)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (3885)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (32736)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

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