About lzmo : Msg me anytime :)
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18083) - you deserved it (3503)
On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you deserved it (3678)
On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18952) - you deserved it (1947)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (3062)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (27631)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5760) - you deserved it (24893)
On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12776) - you deserved it (21327)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9233) - you deserved it (21241)
On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (5906)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (1810)
On 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by yourebeautiful - United States
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you deserved it (25235)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was set up on a blind date. When I arrived, the person waiting for me was a woman. It appears that my friends have always thought I was a lesbian, and that they 'played along' when I talked about guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (2402)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (5453)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40007) - you deserved it (3998)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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