Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lzmo

Online | Search for a member

lzmo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1448
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:38pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Quick8686</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:59pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:30am<b>michaeljc7</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:40pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:28pm<b>TheDeafDudeinCA</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:19pm<b>MattiiEng</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 6:04pm<b>miztigers53</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 12:27pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:38pm<b>boxbrandon11</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 12:58am

lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

#21032966
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37444) - you deserved it (9019)

On 01/19/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55982) - you deserved it (5628)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (12374)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

#21016807
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44050) - you deserved it (4256)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, while staying at my brother's place for the Christmas holidays, I had to leave because he threatened to "take me outside". Apparently he doesn't like being corrected on whether a certain car has a long wheel base version, so I guess the family Christmas is over. FML

#21005745
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (3282)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by detour165 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48221) - you deserved it (4779)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (4713)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45940) - you deserved it (3388)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38484) - you deserved it (3825)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52960) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (3222)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (2700)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML

#20980804
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35746) - you deserved it (2238)

On 12/04/2013 at 7:00pm - misc - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (12452)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: