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lzmo's favorite FMLs
by Ticklish / 04/13/2014 at 5:33am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Health
Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML
by please stop singing!!!! / 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML
by Embarassed / 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML
by wabbyfish / 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Crochocinco85 / 03/13/2014 at 7:59am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 11:33am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU / 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML
by kitty91 / 03/02/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by baxeh / 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Animals
by dontgothere / 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
by Twix88 / 02/19/2014 at 6:00am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML
by Dsark / 02/19/2014 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad… Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend who is married with children. His wife… Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her…