lzmo

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Offline (the 05/23/2016 at 7:22am)

lzmo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5590
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:43am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:16am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:36pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:01pm<b>monkey8970920</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:44pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:24am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:30pm<b>ilysmfae</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:25am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Phishbonez</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:23am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:53am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm

Fucked!<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:44pm

lzmo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

by datingablonde / 01/11/2013 at 12:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

by georgiamarshall_ / 01/09/2013 at 5:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

by life// / 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

by Ren / 12/28/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 10:02am / Australia / Kids

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

by divingconfidence / 12/22/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

by SApprentice / 12/19/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

by Miki / 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

by Ashley / 12/02/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous