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lzmo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Money
by okay then / 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by kenyaliving / 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by sdd / 01/23/2013 at 10:44am / Switzerland (Bern) / Miscellaneous
by TheLastSerenade / 01/23/2013 at 3:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by sarah6786 / 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…