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lzmo

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lzmo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3440
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

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lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today I've Been Living In Kenya In A Nasty Apartment For So Long That When I Looked Down Into My Drink And Saw A Dead Fly , I Just Picked It Out And Continued Drinking. Mega FML

#20505207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (4984)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

yesterday my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" an ended the same conversation with "and that'shy we should divorce." FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I lerened it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing yur phone off the balcony and sticking yur cigarette into yur pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (55602)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, tha rollarcoastar I was on stuck upsida down for a faw minutas. I shat mysalf in tarror. Than, gravity took affact. raal FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (9833)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today , I was chatting with mah choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was , "Thank god , finally!" big fat FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24535) - you deserved it (6082)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 yeres old. FML

#20474414
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35853) - you deserved it (3654)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

the police arrivd at door... telling me child had been caught vandalizing. A boyho lookd about 15 huggd me and said... "Hey... mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, mah husband asked me to show him mah boob. I began to pull the side of mah shrt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (4294)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven... a dryer... a dishwasher... a looool toilet... an a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah currant boyfriand an mah ax-boyfriand got into a fight abouthan mah brthday is!! Thay wara both wrong!! FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41809) - you deserved it (5179)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Taday my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walkd into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, coverd in ketchup. She laughedhen I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40984) - you deserved it (4273)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I Told Mah Girlfriend That Mah Identical Twin And I Are Not In Fact Related, That He's Adopted, And That The Only Reason We Look Exactly The Same Is Because We Eat And Drink The Same Things. She Actually Believed It. Mega FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (8974)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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