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lyssgross

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lyssgross

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3925
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

lyssgross's page activity

Visits<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:54am<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:37pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:56am<b>deepfreeze78</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:14pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:49am<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:05pm<b>tard1s</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 5:21pm<b>BecauseIAmBatman</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:41am<b>Dantheman9002</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:52am<b>mackiej860</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:55am<b>ArgentumAurum</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:02pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:18pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:59pm<b>CammyGal</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:18am<b>Darylcrat</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:01pm<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Wedgietime</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:08am

Liked!<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:59pm

lyssgross's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lyssgross's badges

lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51286) - you deserved it (11678)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50561) - you deserved it (3860)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47880) - you deserved it (26828)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (4978)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52597) - you deserved it (8964)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (9782)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40666) - you deserved it (3015)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44257) - you deserved it (32383) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59432) - you deserved it (20961)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49758) - you deserved it (4364)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50090) - you deserved it (3443)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41716) - you deserved it (5326)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48975) - you deserved it (7118)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

#20777668
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62470) - you deserved it (10824)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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