lyssgross

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lyssgross

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11401
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

lyssgross's page activity

Visits<b>rissamarie</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 1:18am<b>brianna1494</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 10:37pm<b>danandphil</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 2:03pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:09pm<b>bee97</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 12:18pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 10:39am<b>ZombieFaerie</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 9:42am<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 3:17am<b>laurenada</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Random737193</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:12pm<b>amandagedaria</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:13pm<b>ChloeKissyface44</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:00am<b>Stiggy626</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:33pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:20am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:35am<b>Celeden</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:37pm<b>UserError94</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 3:26pm

Fucked!<b>rissamarie</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 7:18am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:59pm

lyssgross's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lyssgross's badges

lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

by nerdywaitress / 10/18/2013 at 1:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

by BasketGhost / 10/02/2013 at 2:36am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

by Smoothskin / 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

by ElizaZee / 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

by CityBoysNow / 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy