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lunarstarfox's favorite FMLs
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
by marriage/celibacy/synonymity / 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by kit_kat14 / 02/19/2010 at 9:27am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by gooddriver / 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by flipraff101 / 10/14/2009 at 5:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
by NiHao / 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/27/2009 at 8:52am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
by TrainedBF / 09/12/2009 at 8:00am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by eagerbeaver / 09/03/2009 at 12:37am / United States / Kids
by UGH / 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,…