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lumens

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lumens
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  • Number of visits : 21
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lumens's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

lumens's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33033) - you deserved it (2460)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (1805)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (2777)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47939) - you deserved it (6440)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54553) - you deserved it (9167)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35398) - you deserved it (1516)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (2966)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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