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luke1995fg's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs
by Ahook1 / 08/23/2010 at 7:31pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by dentallycorrect / 08/19/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
by Herbiee / 08/18/2010 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2010 at 6:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Work
Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML
by ...thanks honey / 08/18/2010 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anon / 08/18/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2010 at 1:06pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
by qtpieo1 / 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2010 at 10:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
by Drew / 08/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML
by LaRae17 / 08/04/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
by fatty / 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…