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luke1995fg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1481
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

#12293464
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (5393)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (54702)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (71822)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11509) - you deserved it (41493)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32451) - you deserved it (2824)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92760) - you deserved it (5267)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25640) - you deserved it (7009)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

#11977645
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30001) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/19/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Bellagirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that there's nothing quite like coming downstairs in a t-shirt and panties, only to discover your fiancé has a bunch of his friends over. FML

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7315) - you deserved it (56904)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (3164)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

#8435520
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7904) - you deserved it (18465)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (1986)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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