Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

luke1995fg

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

luke1995fg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1710
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

luke1995fg's page activity

Visits<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:34pm

luke1995fg's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of luke1995fg's badges

luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML

#12497360
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8786) - you deserved it (45335)

On 08/13/2010 at 10:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53759) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29580) - you deserved it (33425)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32245) - you deserved it (3505)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

#12293464
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (6801)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9246) - you deserved it (56292)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8099) - you deserved it (73817)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12561) - you deserved it (43802)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (3727)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97764) - you deserved it (5642)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (7337)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

#11977645
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (4936)

On 07/19/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Bellagirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that there's nothing quite like coming downstairs in a t-shirt and panties, only to discover your fiancé has a bunch of his friends over. FML

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7772) - you deserved it (58883)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (3271)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: