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luke1995fg's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
luke1995fg's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
by Deidle-dee / 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:31am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
by badteacher / 10/24/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
by stickyface / 10/24/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
by drunkfacebookuser / 10/23/2010 at 9:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
by Oriianna Raiinbow / 10/23/2010 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Love
Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML
by Blondie / 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. When he saw I had something in my pocket, he began to ask if it was a weapon. After arguing for a few minutes I was put in handcuffs. I was too embarrassed to pull the tampon out my pocket. FML
by Victoria / 10/21/2010 at 2:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
by gross / 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm / Australia / Love
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
by iprobablyhaveherpes / 10/20/2010 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm / United States (California) / Health