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luke1995fg

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luke1995fg

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  • Title : Mister
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  • Number of visits : 1643
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

#14515582
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34701) - you deserved it (6862)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12035) - you deserved it (36724)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31446) - you deserved it (7978)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7499) - you deserved it (47048)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (3468)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23920) - you deserved it (13140)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (4061)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

#13586647
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8926) - you deserved it (28851)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

#13572879
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13229) - you deserved it (42451)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11885) - you deserved it (45793)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (35809)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

#13561698
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50116) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

#13560342
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39613) - you deserved it (11959)

On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you deserved it (8540)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51349) - you deserved it (3979)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)



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