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luke1995fg

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luke1995fg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1474
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (9181)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (7666)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46382) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30654) - you deserved it (10623)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

#16398150
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (13070)

On 05/29/2011 at 4:12am - kids - by adogg18 - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

#16378001
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (16035)

On 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by valerie - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34605) - you deserved it (5415)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (7045)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (60162)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

#15437013
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49844) - you deserved it (3509)

On 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm - animals - by awesome -

Today, I went to work despite having a nasty cold. I didn't call up sick because last week when I called in, my boss said I was being "unprofessional and unacceptable." My boss sent me home with a written warning today, claiming that coming to work sick was "unprofessional and unacceptable." FML

#15431401
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (3155)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:59pm - work - by SickandTired (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12158) - you deserved it (45491)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (50933)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)



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