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luke1995fg

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luke1995fg

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  • Number of visits : 1654
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luke1995fg's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (5016)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (8610)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37904) - you deserved it (9330)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

#17976289
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (6377)

On 10/13/2011 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by serenti - Sweden

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (3117)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (9111)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (3691)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

#17960494
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (2498)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (8199)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (2596)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34397) - you deserved it (24570)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10874) - you deserved it (35254)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

#17927232
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (3939)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by jkass - Australia (New South Wales)



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